00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:44,778Why is it the only personwho can't see that is you?17800:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,332That's just great.17900:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,251If she thinks I'm gonnaslink back there and apologize,18000:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,617she's got another thing coming.She's not the boss of me.18100:14:19,780 --> 00:14:23,455I'm an ogre and I'm not gonna apologizefor acting like one.18200:14:23,620 --> 00:14:27,772Help, please!Someone, anyone at all, help me!18300:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,612Please, help!18400:14:30,060 --> 00:14:31,573Please, help!18500:14:31,940 --> 00:14:33,658I'm stuck! Help!18600:14:33,820 --> 00:14:35,572Oh, please, help!18700:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,413Someone, anyone! Help me!18800:14:38,580 --> 00:14:41,936The pain! I can seea bright light. A tunnel!18900:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,458Grandma? Is that you?19000:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,939Yeah, it's me, Granny.19100:14:46,100 --> 00:14:49,536An ogre! Please, Mr. Ogre,please don't eat me!19200:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,179I'm not gonna eat you.19300:14:51,340 --> 00:14:54,491But you are an ogre... Aren't you?19400:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,379Yeah, well, I... I used to be.19500:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,849Look, move out or get crushed.19600:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,931So you're not gonna eat me?19700:15:02,100 --> 00:15:06,730No, thanks. I already had a big bowlof curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.19800:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,898Wait up! What's your rush?Where you going?19900:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,049Nowhere.20000:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,780What a coincidence!I was just heading that way myself.20100:15:14,940 --> 00:15:19,252But, seriously,let me give you a ride. I insist.20200:15:19,420 --> 00:15:23,618Come on. It's the least I can doafter all you've done for me.20300:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,573I got a hot rat cooking.20400:15:28,460 --> 00:15:31,975All right! Can I interest youin a mudslide? Slug and tonic?20500:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,973A liquid libationto ease that frustration?20600:15:35,140 --> 00:15:39,258- Eyeball-tini?- Well, maybe just one.20700:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,974So the centaur says,"That's not the half I'm talking about."20800:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,574I gotta say, Shrek, I envy you.20900:15:47,740 --> 00:15:50,937To live the life of an ogre...no worries, no responsibilities.21000:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,739You are free to pillageand terrorize as you please.21100:15:53,900 --> 00:15:57,051- Free? That's a laugh.- Oh, yeah?21200:15:57,620 --> 00:16:02,569Sometimes I wish I had just one dayto feel like a real ogre again.21300:16:02,740 --> 00:16:03,809Why didn't you say so?21400:16:03,980 --> 00:16:07,017Magical transactions are my specialty!21500:16:07,180 --> 00:16:10,729Great. Next to mimes,magicians are my favourite people.21600:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,093Hold on.21700:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,297"King for a Month.""Knight for a Week."21800:16:19,540 --> 00:16:21,451Ogre for a day.21900:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,976Think about it, Shrek.To be feared and hated.22000:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,129You'll be, like, "Roar!"22100:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,736And the villagers will be, like, "Getaway! It's Shrek! I'm so scared of him!"22200:16:29,900 --> 00:16:33,131It would be just like the good old days,when your swamp was your castle.22300:16:33,300 --> 00:16:38,693- When the world made sense.- All right, what's the catch?22400:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,375Catch? No. There's no catch.No catchings, really.22500:16:42,540 --> 00:16:44,531I mean, there's something.Small thing. Nothing. A little thing.22600:16:44,700 --> 00:16:47,578All right, I knew it.So what do you want?22700:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,492- A day.- A day.22800:16:49,660 --> 00:16:50,649Rat's done!22900:16:52,140 --> 00:16:55,177To make the magic work, you gottagive something to get something.23000:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,138In this case, you gottagive a day to get a day. That's all.23100:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,894I can't just pick upand leave my family.23200:17:01,060 --> 00:17:04,575But that's the best part, Shrek!It's a magical contract.23300:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,492No one will even know you're gone.23400:17:06,660 --> 00:17:12,212And by the time this day is up,you are gonna feel like a changed ogre.23500:17:13,140 --> 00:17:15,051Still, I don't know.23600:17:15,220 --> 00:17:18,610Hey, no problem.Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.23700:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,169Do you like white meat or dark meat?23800:17:22,380 --> 00:17:25,258So what day would I have to give up?23900:17:25,420 --> 00:17:28,173I don't know, any day.A day from your past.24000:17:28,340 --> 00:17:30,649A day you had the flu?A day you lost a pet?24100:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,129A day some meddling oafstuck his nose where it didn't belong24200:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,858destroying your businessand ruining your life?!24300:17:38,380 --> 00:17:39,779Just for an example.24400:17:39,940 --> 00:17:41,612How about the day I met Donkey?24500:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,169Now, there's a dayI'd like to take back.24600:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,259I don't know who that is.24700:17:47,060 --> 00:17:49,528I know. What about a dayyou wouldn't even remember?24800:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,816Like a day when you were a baby.24900:17:51,980 --> 00:17:57,008- An innocent, mindless little baby.- Take any of those days you want.25000:17:57,180 --> 00:18:01,378- Take them all for all I care.- Oh, just one will do.25100:18:02,700 --> 00:18:05,260OK, good.A day from your childhood it is.25200:18:05,420 --> 00:18:08,890I guess there's nothing wrongwith wanting a little time for myself.25300:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,539Just 24 tiny little hours.25400:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,691- I'm still my own ogre!- Yeah, you is!25500:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,010I never needed to askfor anyone's permission before.25600:18:15,180 --> 00:18:17,740So why start now?25700:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,459Go on, Shrek.25800:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,099Sign it!25900:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,539Go on, Shrek.26000:18:32,620 --> 00:18:34,099Sign it, Shrek! Sign it!26100:18:35,980 --> 00:18:36,969You signed it.26200:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,813So, tell me. What happens now?26300:18:39,980 --> 00:18:41,572Have a nice day.26400:18:58,820 --> 00:19:01,129I think I fell on my keys.26500:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,528There are 40 children in that shoe,26600:19:03,420 --> 00:19:05,411which is why the weaselgoes pop to this very day.26700:19:05,580 --> 00:19:06,569Oh, great.
